


Damned and Drowning

by Soulstarsinger (soulstar)



Series: Damned and Drowning [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Challenge Response, F/M, Introspection, POV Spike, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-09
Updated: 2000-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulstar/pseuds/Soulstarsinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike has won Drusilla back, but is she his princess again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damned and Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Response to Calliopes 'Battered, Broken' challenge: 1) No Spike/Buffy!! Sorry just can't handle that combo... 2) I personally prefer Spike/Willow but can see a lot of potential for Spike/Drusilla in this fic. 3) You can have the song in the fic if you want, or just write a story that fits it. 4) Sex is always nice but not required.  
> Lyrics are at the bottom of the fic. Oh, and thanks to Gunbunny for help with the title! :-)  
> DISCLAIMER: BtVS, Spike, Dru and so on all belong to Joss and the Grr-Argh monster. Oh, and Fox.  
> SPOILERS: _Lovers' Walk_. Set shortly after my fic "One More Time".

Relief. Complete, utter, unadulterated relief. The feeling you get when, after everything in your life being as bad as it could be, it's suddenly alright again. Like being staked, then a drawn out moment later realising it's missed, you're not dust. Christ, I'm poetic this morning. I have Drusilla, and I feel.... relief?

I watch her as she dances around the room, playing chicken with the bright dangerous sunlight that streams through the gaps in the blinds. No, not only relief. I feel love, triumph... happiness.

Ironic, isn't it, that I owe this, at least in part, to our poof of a sire, and the damn Slayer. But fitting as well. It was their fault she left me in the first place. I told them I was nothing without her. That may not be quite true, but it's near enough. She's my purpose, my reason. I need her like I need blood and death. She's my red and black. I have to have her.

So I found her. And I crucified the bastard Chaos Demon boyfriend of hers. Quite literally. Well, without the cross part of course. I'm not a masochist. But I'd picked up a supply of my old trademark railroad spikes - thought Dru might like that, remind her of the good old days, show her I was myself again - and I figured I may as well use 'em. So after I'd beaten the crap out of him, I used some to nail him to the concrete wall of the basement they were hiding out in. I wonder if he's still there. Don't have any idea if Chaos Demons can die from crucifixion, but I'd like to think so. Even if not, it's gotta hurt. I've spent several pleasant hours imagining his lungs slowly filling, and his agony as he drowns in his own bodily fluids. Also, I'm guessing his hands and arms aren't going to be in too happy a state, either. I love it.

And when I'd dealt with him.... there was Drusilla. Ah, Drusilla. I chained her, starved her, and beat her til she screamed. Until she begged for more, first with her eyes, then with her voice. And finally til she admitted that she's mine.

Oh Drusilla, Drusilla. Did you really think you didn't need me? We belong together, baby. I wonder if you're my destiny or my doom. I feel love, obsession. I feel drowned. By you or in you, doesn't matter which.

She dances to a halt in front of me.

"I'll drown you, my Spike." she whispers, her breath almost warm in my ear. I don't care that she's reading my mind. I go willingly to her, lose myself in her body, her blood. She's my religion, my black goddess.

And now, since I've conquered her as she wanted, she returns my passion and more. We consume each other, and I swear I feel burning heat. Hellfire, most likely, since we're already damned.

"Spike?" she whispers again, as we lay entangled and exhausted on our bed. "Am I your princess again?"

I smile indulgently. "That you are, my pet. That you are."

She smiles back and stretches like a cat. "And you are my prince.... my only love."

As she curls against me, I allow myself to bask in the triumph and satisfaction. Oh, I needed that. It's been a while.

END

__**Battered, Broken  
Jude, No One Is Really Beautiful,  
Maverick/Reprise, 1998**

_Everything had to be exactly as you planned it_  
Everything had to be exactly as you designed  
The sadness inside you was lost on exactly no one  
And there's nothing heroic or stoic in being a mime 

_Hey little girl is there room inside your world_  
For a groom without a pearl or a diamond on his mind  
Did you think that for a second on the brink  
That you could let me take a drink and bet that  
would not climb inside over my primly pride  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

_See you walking down the hall kinda tall it isn't all like Bacall and_  
I'm gonna pucker up and blow you right out of the seams of your suits and the  
dreams will be roots for the teams in cahoots  
My demons loving you  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

_CHORUS:_  
There is only so much I can give without return  
Maybe a song  
Maybe a few  
Maybe not  
Maybe, finally fuck it and just take a shot  
And I battered, broken, barely hoping remade token  
I would crawl back to you and say thanks I needed that  
It's been a while  
I would crawl back to you and say thanks I needed that  
It's been a while  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

_Smoother skinned than most she was and beautiful_  
and just because I thought I'd be a doomsday gift  
I placed the rift  
I was callous first and cavalier dropping verses  
she could hear the refrain of  
In the pain  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

_-Chorus-_

_I'm gonna grope I'm gonna grasp_  
'Cause I must  
It's my rope and my asp and my doom for my lusting of you  
Throw me a thin spider line, I'll be fine, as I  
climb the mine to my devine 

_-Chorus-_

_I battered, broken, barely hoping remade token_  
I would crawl back to you and say thanks I needed  
that It's been a while 


End file.
